Still in the upper 160s

I think I can be a bit proud that I've actually lost another pound, despite the holiday season. This morning, I weighed in at 167.6. It would be really nice to get down enough that even if I gain a bit with holiday eating I'm still not back into the 170s. I'm officially 20 pounds lighter than I was last year, though! 30 more and I will be in my goal range. I would really like to live my life in the 130s.

I really wish I would be down 2 sizes by now, though. I've only dropped 1 size, and that's a bit annoying. I thought it was supposed to be 10 pounds per clothing size. I would really like to be a consistent size 8 when I'm done with this, but if it ends up 20 pounds per clothing size then I would be a size 10. I'm hoping that once I start in on training for the next triathlon season that will help the sizes go down faster.

Speaking of the next season, I've made some decisions around that. I'm going to start training in February for a Half Ironman race. I will be doing an Aquabike Half Ironman in August or September next year. There's one in Nevada in August and one in Colorado in September. I'm most likely going to do the one in Colorado since I can practice the route easily and Nevada in August seems awfully hot... I'm also definitely doing the My Way or the Tri Way race in July. It's the same one I did for my first race, and I will do the swim-bike-swim order like I did this year. There are a few more races, one in Boulder, one in the mountains, and one close to Las Vegas that I'm considering. Those are all swim, bike, run races, but short distance ones. I'm definitely going to stick to swimming and biking for longer races, but would like to be able to do shorter ones, sprints and/or olympic length races including running. I think it would also be fun to do a relay, where a friend does the running leg sometime.

I did join Bally's Total Fitness, as there's a brand new one going in close to my house and I can take the kids with me for free. I'm going to start walking and learning how to swim freestyle without panicking as soon as the gym opens December 30th. I need a few things for racing: a couple new swimming suits, a wetsuit, clipless bike pedals and shoes, aerobars and the aerobar water bottle holder and water bottle, and a couple pairs of bike shorts. I'll eventually need a new trisuit, but that will wait until I'm at my goal weight.

This could be my last post before the Holidays. It has been quite a ride this year, and I'm so lucky to have all of my friends and family support me. Thank you all, for being there for me, following me, and giving me encouragement. I hope that you have a wonderful Holiday Season. All my love.

Two Years Ago

This Year

The Holidays...

Well, it's that time of year. It's always a struggle to lose weight, but much more so this time of year. Thursday morning, I was down to 168.8 pounds. This morning, after 3 days of eating poorly and exercising limited to Black Friday Shopping, I weighed in at 172.4. Yikes. I'll spend the rest of this week hopefully getting back down to 168.8 pounds.
That leaves 3 weeks until Christmas. 9 pounds in 3 weeks isn't very practical, or the best way to lose weight. So, as I suspected, I'm having to reset my next goal. I will be in the 150s by mid-January. I'll set that date goal as January 15th.
I still think I can make the 130s by April, either my birthday or my mom's.

I do think that there are ways to make this time of year a bit easier. I threw away or gave away any leftover "bad" food by last night. I think if I had done that sooner I would probably be a bit better off today. It also helps to really limit my alcohol intake to once a week or less. My plan now is to not drink anything until December 23rd. I think that will help. Pretty much any week I limit to one day a week and one or two drinks total I lose weight.

I'm going to wait as long as possible to make Christmas cookies. I'm hoping Christmas Eve or maybe the 23rd. I'm also going to make mostly the cookies I don't like. I'll make 1 batch of my favorite cookies since it's not smart to never allow splurging. I have to learn to control myself and follow limits.

I'm still riding the bike at least 3 times a week, and will take the dogs for walks or walk to work whenever it's nice outside. I go back and forth about re-joining the gym. I have awhile to figure it out, as it's mostly important when I need to start swimming again. We're supposed to be getting my parent's old weight machine, so I really only need to find a place to swim...Maybe I'll just get a season pass to Aurora Reservoir and swim there all the time...Need a wetsuit then.

I made my goal!

Some of you, mostly my dad, have been waiting for the post to see if I met my goal last week. Well, I did it! On Thursday morning, before leaving for my cousin's wedding, I weighed 169.6 pounds! I set a goal and made it! It's the first weight-loss goal I've made in years. I've set, "I'll make my goal by my birthday" or "I'll make my goal by our 10th anniversary", or by Christmas pictures, or whatever the date is.

It took me a few years to figure out that the goals have to be small and achievable rather than long-term big goals. I mean long-term goals are necessary, but so are the short-term ones. Which brings me to my next dilemma. Christmas is 5 and a half weeks away. I gained 3 pounds on the trip, stupidly. It will probably take the rest of this week to get back down to 169.6 and that's if I'm super good the rest of this week. So, that means 5 weeks of weight loss until Christmas. So... originally I was going to set 150s by Christmas as the next goal. However, that's 2 pounds a week which can be a bit of a challenge. I've been pretty steadily losing 1-1.5 pounds per week. Do I set myself up to possibly not make a goal and deal with the disappointment, or do I change my goal date? If I change my goal date then I'm saying I can't lose 2 pounds a week for the next 5 weeks. I would love to hear a variety of opinions on this question!
Of course, I just finished watching "The Biggest Loser" and the one guy lost the same amount of weight in 2 weeks that it took me a year to lose. So then I think, jeez, I should definitely be able to lose 10 pounds in 5 weeks...

My ultimate goal is to be in the 130s by my birthday, April 7th, 2012. That's 30+ pounds in 4 months. So really, I'm having to make close to 2 pounds a week every week between now and April. Not a lot of room for error...It's actually exactly 1.5 pounds a week. I can do that, but I really need to focus.

Maybe it's time I ask for help there...So, all of you (all 4 of you) out there reading this, could you please help me? I need encouragement to keep up the diet and exercise. It's going to be particularly difficult to keep it up throughout Thanksgiving and the rest of the holiday season. I love cooking new recipes for Thanksgiving, as it's the one holiday I host both families at our house. I need to find recipes that are good, and will earn praises, but are also healthy. Then, I need to resist the temptation of Christmas cookies and candy. I love Christmas cookies, it's going to be difficult.

 I'm riding the bike for at least 40 minutes at least 3 times a week. I'd love to get ahold of a treadmill to be able to alternate my exercise. It's hard to ride the bike every day since sitting on it for 40+ minutes can be a pain in the butt, literally. If I had a treadmill then I could walk on the days I don't ride the bike...Don't have a lot of money, though, to buy one right now. I am going to go to Play it Again Sports and see what they have available. Craigslist is nice and all, but they you have to go around and look at a bunch of different places and if you like one borrow Dad's truck to go get it. Not to mention finding the time to do this in the middle of work, David's hockey, Gibson's hockey twice a week, Emma's dance, Emma's birthday, a DU basketball game to celebrate Gibson's success at school, prepping for Thanksgiving, Black Friday shopping. Maybe I'll find time after Thanksgiving...

So, as I strive for the next goal, 10 pounds by Christmas, and the ultimate goal, 30+ pounds by my birthday, I appreciate any support I can get. Just the help of understanding we may not have dessert when you come over, Thanksgiving dinner and Emma's Birthday may not be as wonderful as usual, experimenting with healthier options, I won't be drinking most of the time, and I need to spend some time working out every day. Thanks for your understanding and support, all my family and friends :-)

171.4 Pounds, getting closer to my goal and goal date.

If you look back, I set a goal of being in the 160's by my cousin's wedding. Well, we are a week away, and 1.5 pounds away. It's doable, but I will have to focus more than I have in the past couple of weeks. The past couple of weeks, I've lost 1 pound a week, on average. Nothing to be ashamed of, for sure, but not quite where I need to be to get to the 160's by next Friday. However, I really do think I can do it, especially since I lost 1 pound a week the past 2 weeks despite a Halloween party, candy around the house (that I threw away yesterday, finally), and a few days of total cheating at the cabin.

I'm really hoping to be enough into the 160's to allow myself some freedom for my mini-vacation :-) I'm planning on really taking it easy, though, at it seems to be difficult for me to reign myself in once I let myself eat and/or drink whatever I want to. I figured that out this week after eating piece after piece of Halloween candy!

Other than the candy cheating, the diet is actually going really well. I did eat Chicken Meatballs and cream cheese icing (not together) a week ago, at the Halloween party. Other than that, I've remained a plant-eater.  Some days it's been difficult. I think if it was just David and I it would be easy. But figuring out something plant-based that Gibson and Emma will eat is more challenging. Sure, they love pasta, carrots, green beans, broccoli, and are ok with rice and salad, but tofu and beans have been a challenge, not to mention squash, eggplant, and other veggies we're getting from the farm. We're going to keep up with it, as their palates will change. The other challenge has been to mix it up. It feels like we cook the same thing all the time. I did just download the Forks Over Knives cookbook and am hoping that will help us change things up a bit. David wants to eat up our fish left in our freezer, too, so that will help over the next couple of weeks.

Working out is going ok. I'm riding the bike at home and my parents have been incredibly generous and are giving us their weight system! Since I have to quit the gym, it will be really nice to continue lifting at home. I don't want to lose the strength I developed over the past few months. Between that and riding the bike, I will be working out at least 3 days a week, but hopefully more than that. I've ridden the bike 3 times this week and went to Body Pump for the last time today.

Beyond November 11th, my next goal is to be in the 150's by Christmas. That's about 6 weeks, doable but will take work and commitment. I'll update again in 5 days, right before I leave for Kentucky!

No weight loss this week...

For the first time in awhile, I haven't lost any weight in the past week. There was one day I was 173.0, but it was pretty short lived. Honestly, this week just hasn't been my week. I've let the stress and exhaustion get to me. I've been pretty overwhelmed and busy at work and at home for the past 2 weeks, and I let my eating habits reflect that. This week, I've shown that just being Vegan isn't the only key. I can't eat half a jar of butter crunch cashews in a day and still lose weight! I know, big surprise, huh?! Oh yeah,  and two glasses of beer on Friday afternoon probably didn't help either...
So, I looked back at this picture from my blog and took a picture of myself in the same shirt tonight. I discovered, from comparing the two pictures, that I'm pretty sure I weight just about the same now as I did then. Looking back to then, that picture was taken in New York in 2009. Since we were heading on a trip where I would see 2 friends, one from high school when I was nice and skinny, I remember dieting before the trip. I probably was in the mid-170's on that trip.

David and I in New York, 2009

Me, in the same shirt, today. Today, I weight the same as I did then.

So, now to get back on track this week. I'm going to ride the bike downstairs while watching Amazing Race tonight, and one more night this week. I had to quit the gym for financial reasons, but can keep going until December as I'm paid through then. But, I'll still be able to ride the bike on the trainer and walk/run outside. Once March rolls around I'll have to figure out the swimming thing again to start training for the next triathlon season...

I have a doctor's appointment on Friday to try and figure out how to fix my leg pain when I walk or run.

174.2 Pounds, or 173.6, Depending on the Day

On Saturday morning, I weighed 173.6 pounds. That was after eating at PF Chang's for lunch Friday! I went up to 174.2 this morning, after 2 days of not exactly being good. Make that three, if you were to include today. I'm kind of dreading getting on the scale tomorrow morning. Tomorrow is an incredibly busy day, though, and that always helps me back on track.

The Vegan thing is going pretty well. I tried my first muffins without eggs or dairy. They were fabulous! Seriously. I replaced the eggs with ground flax seed soaked in water. They were carrot zucchini muffins. The original recipe came from my mom. My next step is to try them with half brown rice flour and applesauce instead of oil. I'm very excited to get this week's delivery from the farm; pumpkin, squash, kale. Yummy new stuff to cook with!

It's really hard to go out to eat, though. I guess that's good, saves money...I was able to do pretty well at PF Chang's, but Red Robin was challenging. I tried a Boca Burger, and it was terrible. I think I need to stick to regular whole plant-based foods, rather than trying "replacement foods."

I'm really hoping that next week I'll get to post an official 15 pound picture. 171 pounds will be 15 pounds down from my official starting weight, but 17 pounds down from my worst in the past year. Should be well on my way to the mid-160s by my cousin's wedding...

175.4 and Considering Veganism

Yay! I'm 175.4 pounds today! That's down 11 pounds from my official starting weight, although in all reality it's about 13 pounds from my top weight. I'm actually progressing towards my goal of the 160's by my cousin's wedding! I've discovered that short-term goals really help. Rather than saying, "I'll be at my goal weight by..." I need to keep with these short-term goals. Once I meet this one of being in the 160's by Becky's wedding, then I can set another goal, like 150's by Christmas, 140's by Valentine's Day (that we don't celebrate), etc. One step at a time seems to be the solution.

I went to White House Black Market this weekend and could actually fit into their size 14 dresses and their size 16 pants. Last time I went there, probably a year ago, it wasn't even close. It's my favorite store. I used to own about 5 outfits from there, in sizes 4 and 6, 6 years ago when I was skinny last. Being able to purchase clothes from there again, maintaining a size 8, is my ultimate goal. I'd really like to have a closet of cute clothes again, rather than a closet full of "don't look at me" clothes. I tried on this killer red strapless dress. It's way over budget, but hey, a girl can dream :-)

I've been reading this book, The China Study. It is just incredibly thought-provoking. In the past, I have occasionally considered becoming a vegetarian for environmental reasons. Instead, we switched to only organic food and mostly local. However, in reading The China Study, I am now considering becoming Vegan! I know I won't be able to keep it up at all times. I will still probably bake with eggs, unless I can find a good way to substitute them, and my kids will probably still drink regular milk on occasion and eat cheese, but I'm going to try and go as far as I can. It's incredibly fascinating to read that higher levels of animal-based protein is very closely associated with higher levels of cancer, heart disease, and nerological disorders. It's even more amazing, as a statistics freak, to read how well done the studies were and to read the experiments done with rats and higher levels of animal protein. You wouldn't believe how calcium intake really has nothing to do with bone density. It's only one book, but I'm so impressed with the level of research done, not just anecdotal studies.

So, I'm trying it out. Other than Saturday, when I had fish tacos, I've only eaten Vegan food for the past week. I'm learning to cook in a variety of ways with veggies and tofu. I've tried polenta and really liked it. I'm trying to use all of the veggies we get from our CSA farm. The only thing I'm really not successful in making taste good is cabbage. No matter what, I still can't stand it. Eggplant is actually good in other ways other than fried, believe it or not! I have found, though, that I love tofu with veggies and brown rice, and polenta is awesome! Great with tomatoes and spinach. I made great tofu parmesan sandwiches last week for dinner and we're trying tofu lettuce wraps this week.

I'm not saying it will ever be a total committment, but I could see myself committing to it most days of the week, and hopefully convincing my family to do the same! Plus hey, I've lost weight focusing on eating veggies, fruit, and whole grains without feeling like I'm starving!

I'm still doing Body Pump twice a week, and making sure I swim, bike, or walk at least once a week other than that. I don't want to burn out like I did last time, or feel that I'm so busy I'm losing my mind. Work and the kids have kept both of us so busy that I don't want to have to push to find time to get to the gym every day.

Here's to another good week, and wishing you all a good week, too.

176.4 pounds, Thank you Weight Watchers!

Well, I am the lightest I have been in recent memory. I think the last time I was in the mid-170s was when I was a couple months pregnant with Emma. Yes, that's over 4 years ago! I may have temporarily hit that mark a couple years ago when I first started working out, but it didn't stick... That's officially 10 pounds down from what I weighed at my heaviest this summer!

I joined Weight Watchers Online this week. The difference this time is that I'm very motivated. I've been tracking points religiously, and it's working :-) I've also tried to really limit myself to fruits and veggies, complex carbs, and fish. I'm definitely off the red meat completely. After the rough race, I've taken the week off of exercise except for Body Pump yesterday. I'm going to start swimming often again on Sunday. I'm hoping we still have nice weather for awhile so David and I can go on a few more bike rides. Once it turns too cold for me, I'll set my bike up on the trainer and bike while watching TV at night. Honestly, I'm having a bit of a difficult time getting into the exercise part right now. I really enjoy Body Pump, and have committed to my co-worker to join her every Thursday afternoon. I have a hard time committing to a weekend Body Pump with trying to use the cabin as often as we can. I want to start going back to the 5:30pm Monday one, and just need to committ to that. Anyone want to join me? It's at the Parker and Arapahoe 24-hour fitness.

We're headed up to the cabin for the weekend with friends. Tonight is my night to spend all of my weekly points, 49 of them. We're fondue-ing tonight! That will be all of my weekly points in 1 meal, but every week I get 1 day of splurging if I've done well for the week :-) Of course, splurging within reason. I have to figure out how much chocolate and cheese I can eat and how much wine I can drink to stay within those 49 points...

Better go do that...

A Rough Week

Let's see, do I start with the fact that meat makes me sick, that I was the very last one to finish the race, or that I gained weight?

Ok, so I figured one thing out from that diet, I can't eat meat. It makes me sick. I also stopped losing weight, and I'm pretty sure it's because my body just shouldn't do that kind of diet. So, back to Weight Watchers I go. Hey, it worked well last time, and now I'm motivated to actually track points and pay attention. It's really the best method for me. I don't restrict any category of food. I really am starting to think that I was meant to be a vegetarian. Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that I'm reading The China Study right now. You should read it, it's fascinating!

Now, to the race. I was the last one to finish. They were picking up the signs behind me as I walked. I know, I know, it's about finishing, but it is still pretty demoralizing. I got out of the water ahead of 6-7 people and started the bike. I don't know what in the world happened, but the biked killed me. I got passed by everyone behind me. It took me over an hour. That's longer than the really hilly bike leg that I did for My Way or the Tri Way and that one was longer and hilly-er! I came in last to transition, but transitioned quickly and ended up ahead of 2 people again. However, those 2 ladies passed me in the run, since I was walking the entire thing. I tried to jog once, but my shins just killed walking, so jogging was a no-go.

Ultimately, I know that it's amazing that I finished, and I actually did finish 1 minute below my goal, but it was just so much harder than I anticipated. I guess there's really nowhere to go but up! Better time next time, better week this week!

Before the race.

Mom and Dad there to cheer me on!

No idea yet, how cold the water would be...

Well, at least I've gone from Cold to Numb now!

Getting on the bike, thinking how easy it will be, short and flat...

Notice, smiling, just the start of the bike

Notice, not smiling, end of the bike portion

Oh my, I still have the 3.1 mile walk to go...

Hey, at least I didn't need the ambulance!

Last race, I was smiling at the end. This one, well, you see the expression.

My boss, finished long before I did, but waiting for me with my family at the finish line!

7 days on the Diet-177.0 pounds!

It's been 7 days of dieting. Basically, it goes like this:
-2 servings of yogurt a day
-2 servings of low-sugar fruit a day before 2pm (no bananas or pineapple)
-all the lean protein I can eat
-all the veggies I can eat (Good thing we did that CSA farming thing...)
-lots and lots of water
-no soda, sugar, carbs
-no alcohol

This keeps up for 17 days. Then, I get to add in 2 servings of whole grain carbs every other day, before 2pm. This will hopefully lead to a loss of 15-20 pounds in 34 days.

Let's see. I've cheated a bit. By cheating I mean, I've eaten a few pecans or cashews each day. I actually ate too many cashews Sunday. I had half a glass of wine on Saturday (big no-no). Oh yeah, and I'm eating cheese every day. Not too much, but some fresh mozzarella for lunch or some sprinkled parmesan cheese on salad. It's been a week and I haven't totally fallen off the wagon, so that's a big step for me! I actually feel better! It's kind of shocking. Plus, I weigh the least I've weighed in a long time :-) Technically, I lost 5 pounds last week, but if we go from my lowest in the past month, it's 1.8 pounds below my lowest posting! Please, please, please let this continue.

I'm adding in lots of exercise this week. I did Body Pump on Sunday, thinking that maybe it would be less crowded on a Sunday at 10am rather than Monday night at 5:30pm. I really liked that instructor. I have a really tough instructor on Thursdays, who does abs, shoulders, and triceps totally different than the Sunday instructor. It's nice to have the variety. I sort of did a mini-triathlon yesterday at the gym. The pool had a class in it until 7:15, so I walked for 20 minutes, biked for 10 minutes, and swam for 10 minutes last night. Today, I work until 7pm, so it's my day off from working out. Tomorrow, I think I'll go on a bike ride and Thursday I have Body Pump with my friend, Jan. Friday I just might take off too, since the race is Saturday and that will be 2 hours of exercising for me!

I am doing the Crescent Moon Sprint Triathlon on Saturday. It's at Cherry Creek Reservoir. It's my 3rd event this season! This one is, maybe, the only true triathlon I will participate in since I'm still getting those nasty shin splints with no end in sight. I will try to jog part of the run leg, but anticipate walking most of it. Hey, that's totally ok with me. I am actually totally fine with coming in last in this race, just to say I did a true triathlon is pretty cool! It's a half-mile swim, 11.5 mile bike, and 3.1 mile run (5k). The bike is supposed to be pretty flat, with 1 hill. Pretty sure that makes it much easier than the bike from My Way or the Tri Way which is all rolling hills (torture). I actually mapped that route versus the My Way or the Tri Way. If you take the first 10th of one of the hills from My Way or the Tri Way that is equal to the only hill in Crescent Moon. I'm actually pretty excited about this one :-) Maybe I'll be able to finish in closer to 2 hours since the bike is shorter and less hilly...The water is only 69 degrees though, and I don't have a wetsuit...It will be a bit chillier than my other swims...

So, when I finish this race I'm going to get a tattoo. Yep, mom is probably freaking reading this right now :-) Love you, mom. I was considering getting all 3 symbols, swimming, running, and biking, but feel like that would be a bit "poser-ish" of me since I probably won't even really run and will be looking for aquabikes from now on. So, on one shoulder I'm going to get a swimming symbol and one I'm going to get a biking symbol. I'm not quite sure what it will look like yet, but this is a pretty significant thing in my life. I can't believe I finally found a sport I enjoy participating in!

Hopefully, by the next time I post, I will have finished a race in less than 2 and a half hours and weight in the low 170s!

Swimming went well, dieting didn't. Maybe some day I'll figure this out

I swam 1.2 miles in Boulder Reservoir on Saturday. I swam it in 1 hour and 11 minutes. That was about 4 minutes less than my goal of 1 hour, 15 minutes. Despite a 6:30am start, which meant waking up at 4:30am, it was a beautiful swim. The air was cold and breezy, if anyone remembers Saturday morning, but the water was about 74 degrees. It was perfect for swimming without a wetsuit. The view was beautiful. We got in the water just as the sun was rising, and turned west after about half a mile. It was cool for a girl from East Aurora to be swimming that close to the foothills. It was a lovely start to the weekend after the dissappointment of my lack of weightloss last week.

Dieting did not go well this weekend. So, I've decided to try the 17 Day Diet on the suggestion of a Facebook friend and my doctor's recommendation. It's basically lean protein, veggies, fruit before 2pm, and yogurt for the first 17 days. The next 17 days alternate between the previous 17 days and adding in brown rice, whole grain pasta, and the like. I've tried Atkins-y things before, but I like that this has yogurt and fruit in the beginning and am hoping that maybe it will work. It's not that far off of Weight Watchers new recommendations, as they really increased points for carbs and I just don't have time to track consistently. I also definitely think that I have a sort of carb addiction :-) So, this is my last-ditch effort to try and figure something out.

3 days in to the 17 day diet now...I weighed in at 179.4 pounds. So, it looks like it may be working! I'm going to Body Pump tonight, the first exercise since my 1.2 mile swim. I'm taking this week to really focus on food and get that under control. I'll start focusing in again on exercising this weekend. Possible Body Pump on Saturday and swimming on Sunday.

My schedule will hopefully be:
Monday: Body Pump
Tuesday: Bike with David or off
Wednesday: Bike with David or swim
Thursday: Body Pump with Jan
Friday: Bike with David or swim
Saturday: walk/jog
Sunday: swim

You've got to be kidding me, 180.4 pounds

Ok, seriously.

I've worked out 5 days a week for 2 weeks in a row. I'm doing weights, in the form of Body Pump, swimming, walking, biking, all for a minimum of 30 minutes, most of the time 45 minutes-over an hour, every day except 2 days each week. I do Body Pump twice a week, and walk/run or swim before Body Pump. I bike at least once a week with David, swim at least once a week, and walk at least once a week.

It's not like I haven't been watching what I eat, either. Since Monday, when I weighed 178.6, I haven't had dessert, I haven't had a single drink, I've limited myself to brown rice or 1 piece of whole grain bread at lunch only. I'm eating protein, lots of veggies, and am tracking all of my foods and weight watchers points. Yesterday, for example, I tracked absolutely everything I ate and used 29 points. That's the total points I am allowed in a day in order to lose weight even if I don't exercise. I also did a Body Pump class last night. I woke up this morning weighing 180.4 pounds!

I feel like I'm starving myself and not getting to eat anything I enjoy, I'm working out a lot, and yet nothing is happening. You may ask if maybe I'm gaining muscle, which weighs more than fat, but my clothes aren't any looser either. I just don't get it. The first two weeks 6 years ago when I did this, I lost something like 5 pounds each week. That was without any kind of exercise/burning calories. Now, not only can I not lose weight, but I actually gained this week!

I'm so frustrated and depressed about this I don't even know what to do. I'm at a loss and just can't think of why in the world I wouldn't be losing weight. This weekend I really wanted to loosen up a bit on the food with family in town and the holiday. Instead, I just get to feel bad about myself and my progress. What's the point of all this restriction with no results? This isn't any different than when I was just working out and eating whatever I wanted. I'm just so tired of being the fat girl, and finally got my act together to do something about it, but NOTHING IS HAPPENING. What more can I do???

178.6 Pounds

Well, I'm officially, this morning, in the 170's! I actually made it Friday morning (179.4), but then was worried as Friday night and Saturday night I had alcohol AND dessert. So, even after a weekend "off" of the diet, I still managed to lose weight! I really think that Body Pump is working. It's good to know that if I'm really good during the week that I can splurge a bit on the weekends and not lose my progress.

I have a 1.2 mile swim coming up on Saturday. I'm excited to find out how long it takes me. If it takes me too long swimming breast stroke, then I think I'll take a Master's Swim class to get tips on how to do freestyle without panicking.

I'm hoping to get to Body Pump tonight so that I don't have to go at 5:30am tomorrow. We have school pictures for our students tonight, though, so it will depend on when I can leave today. If I can't make it, then I'll be going at 5:30 am tomorrow! I want to start going every Monday and Wednesday evening. I just signed the kids up to go to Kid's Club. Emma went with me last week and loves it, so now Gibson wants to go, too. It's the perfect thing to do when David has hockey and a great way for Emma to have fun since she can't go to swim lessons with her broken arm. It makes me feel way less guilty about going to the gym if I can bring the kids with me.

So, to begin this week, so far so good! Of course, I just tried roasted beets for lunch and almost hurled. At least the tomatoes from my garden and fresh mozarella were still good :-)

A Committment to Myself

I have just re-posted my calendar to this blog. It is my way of committing to myself, and to be held accountable by my readers, my workout schedule. Everything is there. That way, I can see how working out fits into my daily routine despite being quite busy. Seeing as how my week-to-week schedule really doesn't change that much, neither should my workout schedule.

I have also committed, since yesterday, to really focus on the diet thing. It's better than committing effective tomorrow when tomorrow never comes. I am committing to low-fat proteins, veggies, fruit, and occasionally brown rice. Lunch is my splurge of fresh mozzarella cheese with tomatoes (from my garden :-) or squash, and avocado. I'll mix it up with whatever we get from our farm deliveries each Wednesday. We get veggies, fruit, organic cheese, and bread from the farm each week. Most of the time the bread is for the family, but this week it's sourdough bread. Sourdough is one of the best breads, apparently. So, I may actually get to have a piece in the morning! I also treat myself to about a quarter-cup of nuts at work as a snack.

I will post my weight each week to stay accountable, too. It would be alot easier to improve my times in triathlons if I had less weight to carry with me :-) Not to mention, looking good for Christmas pictures and my cousin's wedding would be awesome!

2 More Races!

I just signed up for 2 more races! In 2 weeks I'll be doing a 1.2 mile swim in Boulder Reservoir. I'm very excited for that one. I want to see how long it takes me to do Breast Stroke for 1.2 miles. If it takes me right around a hour, then I won't have to switch strokes for the Cedar Point race that I really want to do in 2012 or 2013. It will be a great workout regardless, and I love to swim.

Two weeks later, September 17th, I'm doing an actual triathlon! There aren't any good length aquabikes left in Colorado the rest of the season, so I asked my colleague who does alot of triathlons if it is ok to walk the run portion of this triathlon that is at Cherry Creek Reservoir. She said absolutely. I also looked at last year's results and saw that there were about 5 people who ran 20 minute miles, which means they probably walked it. So, I signed up for the Crescent Moon Race on September 17th.

I just walked a 5k, which is the distance of the run portion of the race, in the mountains this morning. I did it in an hour. The dogs went with me and we had a great time. We jogged about half a mile of the route. I'm planning on walking/jogging with them twice a week, swimming twice a week, biking once or twice a week, and doing Body Pump once a week. Yes, that's all 7 days in the week, but two days are just walking, so they're sort of recovery days. We'll see if it actually happens, this schedule. It's much more difficult when David has hockey, I teach 3 hours via Skype-type-thing from 6-9pm two nights a week, we're at the school from 10am-3:30pm Mondays and Wednesday, 10am-7pm Tuesdays and Thursday, 8am-noon Fridays, get  two children to get to and from 2 different schools, cook dinner, do homework, and get the kids to bed. Oh yeah, and swim lessons on Wednesday and soccer on Saturdays.

I know, pretty much everyone's schedule looks like this, but just not sure how the workouts are going to fit in. I may have to start getting up at 4:45 every morning to make it work. Yuck! I am the opposite of an early morning person. I'm one of those parents who can still sleep until 10 or 11am when it's my morning to sleep in! Plus, if I'm working until 9pm two nights a week, which are school nights, and it takes me at least an hour after to settle down for sleep (usually more), that's not even 7 hours of sleep a night! It hurts my head to try and figure it out. Anyone want to schedule my life for me? Now that's a helper I would hire! Forget a house-cleaner or shrink, I just need a scheduler :-) Oh yeah, and someone to fix my brain so I don't crave sweets anymore.

Well hey, at least I know 2 days in the next month that I will get exercise...RACE DAYS!

2 Hours, 3 Minutes, 56 Seconds!

I did it! I actually finished an Aquabike race! I finished a half-mile swim, 14.5 mile bike, and another half-mile swim in 2 hours, 3 minutes, and 56 seconds! I wasn't the last one to cross the finish line, either! I was so hoping for under 2 hours, but after about mile 9 on the bike, all I could think was how I just wanted to finish and who cares how long it took.
The first swim leg felt easy. I came out of the water with ease, and ran back into transition to get on the bike ready to go. The bike was rough. It's 14.5 miles of rolling hills, which sound nice but are, in my mind, mountains. I made it to the halfway turn around point and thought, well at least the hills are more down than up going back. It's only when you're biking into the wind that you even realize it's there. The wind wasn't as bad as I've ridden in before in training, but enough to push against me. At about mile 9 of the bike, I lost my water bottle. I still had my Gatorade bottle, but I was at the point that I really didn't want that sweet taste anymore. I was trying to put my water bottle back into the holder and dropped it. After that, the bike just felt long and painful. I couldn't get my legs to move faster than about 9 miles an hour on the flat parts, when I can usually keep up 15 miles an hour. I kept telling myself I could do it. In the beginning, I felt a twinge of saddness every time someone passed me. After mile 9, all I could think was how much I just wanted to finish and how little it mattered if everyone passed me.
I finally returned to transition after the bike, and really had to force a smile at my cheering parents, husband, and kids. I walked most of the way to the water's edge for the last swim leg. I was so happy to be getting into the water again to cool off and float :-) The third leg, and second swim leg, seemed to take forever in the beginning. There was even a point where I was talking to one of the canoe helpers that I felt like all I was doing was standing still. My ankle kept painfully clicking, but I finally made it out to the last bouy and started the swim back to shore. Something about seeing the shore made me speed up. I think I may have also finally gotten my legs back at that point. Getting out of the water was amazing. I was exhausted but knew then that I had done it. I could crawl to the finish line if I had to! I walked back up to transition to the finish "shute". I ran the last 200 yards to the finish line with the biggest smile on my face.
I may not have lost the weight I had hoped to at the beginning of this journey, I may never be as skinny as I want to be. But this victory is mine! Despite some bumps in the road, and some not-quite-so-good training weeks, I have finished a race! With the support of my family and friends, I have done something I never thought I could do. Now, it's on to the next great adventure!

About ready to take off for the first leg swim. At this time, I really was thinking, "What are you taking a picture for, Mom, it's not that big of a deal."

Running to the water's edge, full of energy!

Coming out of the water from the first swim leg,  26 minutes, 26 seconds. Thinking, "This is pretty cool!"

How the family entertained themselves while Mommy biked.

Returning from the bike leg. The smile was much harder work this time.  1 hour, 2 minutes,  13 seconds to complete the bike leg.

Leaving transition to return to the water for the final leg. Feels like my legs can hardly move.

Coming out of the water after the final leg! 28 minutes, 43 seconds for this final leg.

Running to the finish line! 2 Hours, 3 Minutes, 56 Seconds.

Couldn't have done it without my support team. Behind the camera, Mom and Dad! I love you all!

2 Weeks to Go, and I'm Ashamed

So, it's been awhile since I've posted, I know. It's because I'm ashamed. I'm embarrassed that I quit the Half-Ironman race in September. I'm embarrassed that I took over 2 weeks off from working out, and have since only been working out 45 minutes a day, 6 days a week. But, I'm especially ashamed that I haven't lost any weight.
4 months ago, when I started this blog, I titled it From Fat to Triathlete in 4 Months. Well, I'm still fat. I could take a picture of me now, and compare it to one of me in November, and you couldn't tell the difference.

March 2010

October 2010

July 2011 (sure seems like I'm the odd one out)

I'm still the same size, 16 or 14 on a good day. I know I said I lost weight the last time I posted, but I've gained it back. I'm currently at 182 pounds, again. I know it's about what I eat, and I just haven't been willing to give that up. I had a really good couple of weeks before we left on vacation, but that was 4 weeks ago! Since then, I've had dessert every day, yes, Every Day. Good days were where I had fruit and homemade whipped cream for dessert instead of cookies or ice cream sandwiches. I even got past the point of making up reasons why I could eat dessert. I just did because I resigned myself to losing weight being too hard and saying it would never happen anyway so why bother.
Well, now I'm less than 2 weeks away from the race. Yes, I'm still doing the shorter race. Half-mile swim twice and 14 mile bike. I swore I would not be in the "Athena" class for the race. Athena is short for heavy woman. Well, I'm still way over the 150 pound mark for that class.
I really wanted to be skinny and geogeous for our 10th wedding anniversary.

Not that I'm skinny here, but certainly skinnier.

I wanted David to be proud to say, "That's my wife!" I just think when it comes to the looks department right now, I married up and would like to look like we belong together. I know it's stupid and petty and materialistic, but this is my therapy session!

This is what I used to look like, in case you need a reference to what I would like to look like again...

I know, I know. It's not all about looks. When I really stop myself and think about it, I really do know that. I mean, the reason I love my husband is because he's caring, funny, a good father, puts up with my BS, a true partner, loving, and is truly my better half. The fact that he's handsome is not on the important list. Yet, I can't get past looks when I think of myself.

The good new is: I am racing in less than 2 weeks! I biked today for 45 minutes, swam yesterday for 45 minutes. I did a Body Pump class at 24 Hour Fitness last Thursday. Wow! I've done it once before, over a year ago, and couldn't sit down for a day. This time, I definitely overdid the arms weight. I couldn't straighten my arms for 3 days afterwards. I could finally straighten my arms enough to get my hands on the handlebars of my bike this morning! I'm going to either ride the bike or swim tomorrow morning. Wednesday-Friday I get to swim in Pagosa Springs! I'll ride the bike Sunday when we get home from the cabin. Then, I'm a week away from the race!

After the race, I'm excited to start my new exercise routine. I'm going to swim twice a week, bike at least once a week, hopefully twice, do Body Pump once a week and Body Flow once a week. I'm thinking that adding in variety with the new classes will keep me committed and engaged. Anyone out there want to join me? I'd love someone to ride with (David and I hope to ride Fridays after work), or someone to go to the classes with...Body Pump at 5:30pm at Parker and Quincy on Wednesdays, Body Flow at 7:30pm at Chambers and Alameda on Thursdays.

I'll post again after the race!

The Challenges of Summer

I would have thought that summer would have made for easier training. The weather is nice so I can ride outside, David is home with the kids so I don't have to worry about picking them up on time, David is more than willing to cook dinner so I don't have to worry about that, it's lighter later in the day. Surprisingly, none of this makes it easier to train. Summer really makes me want to just hang out with my family, do things around the house, and go on vacation. It's a bit depressing being the only one going to work each day, so who wants to add another hour and a half away from the house?

Tonight, for example, I won't be home until 9pm. I got to work at 10am and will be here until 7pm. Then, I have to swim for an hour and a half. That puts me home around 9pm. Just in time to watch an episode of Rome and go to bed. Tomorrow I have to be at work before 8am to help conduct interviews, and work until 3:30. I'm hoping to bike home from work; hoping that the roads dry off enough by then from our lovely, rain-soaked day today. That gets my home by 4:30, an early day! I know I shouldn't be complaining. Afterall, I have a pretty awesome job, a husband who's willing to be with the kids so I can workout after work, and time to myself. I just wish that the time to myself wasn't always taken up by swimming or biking.

However, as I sit and complain about the time away from home, I have to celebrate that this morning I weighed in at 178.2! That's the lowest I've been in over a year :-) That's despite being in Vegas until last Monday and only getting in 3 official workouts last week. I did walk about a mile and a half in the mountains on Saturday, but I'm not counting that. The food thing really is important...duh. I really have to continue to keep in mind that food will make or break it for me. I'm working out to be stronger and maintain weight loss, but to actually lose the weight I have to eat right. I'm not going to reach my goal of being skinny by our anniversary, as that's only a month away now, but hopefully I've turned the corner now and can reach it by Christmas.

Back into it after a Sunburn Vacation

No, this is not a vacation from getting sunburns, it was a vacation from training due to a sunburn. For 7 days, I could not put on a bathing suit or bike shorts, let alone sleep well, due to the painful sunburn on the small of my back. Finally, today, I was able to put on a bathing suit and resume training. I swam a little over a mile in an hour. For those of you who are swimmers out there I realize that this is slow, but please remember that I swim breaststroke, which is much slower than pretty much every other stroke. I only have to swim a total of 1 mile for the race, in half-mile spurts, but at the end of June I'm swimming a mile and a half open water swim. It's no pressure, just practice. So, for the next 3 weeks I'm going to really focus on swimming. I'll still ride at least 2 days a week, but my swimming workouts will be the long workouts.
So, it will take me about 1 hour and 20 minutes to swim a mile and a half at a comfortable pace. If I push myself I can get it done faster, but for the purposes of scheduling training, I assume the slower time. Tomorrow, I have meetings from 7:30am until 4pm. David has to leave for hockey at 4:45pm. I can't really figure out a time in there to swim without waking up at 5:30am. I am so NOT a morning person when I can avoid it, so I doubt very much that will happen. So, I'll most likely be riding the bike trainer while trying to keep my kids out of trouble when David is at hockey. Tuesday and Wednesday will be pretty easy to schedule. Meetings only last until 12:30 on Tuesday, and Wednesday I'll go after my doctor's appointment.
I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday to talk about this weight loss thing. They did blood work this week, and everything looks pretty normal, except I have borderline high Cholesterol. I think that getting that result back, along with being frustrated with the lack of weight loss has really focused me on the eating thing. I've been very good, without a whole lot of craving, for the past week. I did have 1 glass of wine and brownies (made with applesauce and egg whites) on Saturday. I'm really trying to work this out. This week is going to be brutal, though.
On Thursday, David and I are going to Vegas for much needed Mommy/Daddy time. Vegas is one of the worst places I could think of to go while trying to lose weight. The only think it has going for it is the massive amount of walking you do to get anywhere. I have to go to Vegas and try really hard not to drink and not to eat dessert. I have to watch portion size in a place that's know for everything being bigger than life. Plus, it's going to be difficult to train. I'm going to try to go to the pool early in the morning in hopes that I might be able to find a place to do some laps. We tend to average about 4 miles of walking per day, so that will be my way to keep in shape, I guess.
I weighed in at 180.0 Saturday morning. If I can maintain that when I weigh in upon returning from Vegas, that will be an incredibly successful trip!
I know the blogs aren't nearly as exciting now that I've backed out of the Half-Ironman length Aquabike, but I still hope some are reading. Maybe, somehow, my blog can give you entertainment, or solace in either the fact that you're not the only one, or that hey, you're one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to do much to stay healthy and keep skinny.
Have a wonderful week!

A Rough Couple of Weeks

Where to begin? Do I start with the weight loss frustration? Do I start with the decision to postpone participating in the Half-Ironman Aquabike? Do I start with the massive, painful sunburn?

I guess I'll start with postponing the race. Before you freak out and think of me as a quitter, know I am still doing the swim race in June, the sprint Aquabike in July, and hope to do other swim races the rest of the summer. I have decided, after biking 25 windy, hilly miles of the 56 mile race route last Friday, that there just isn't a good chance that I will be ready within 3 months to do that race. I was never looking to compete, but I wanted to be able to finish. Well, it took me 3 hours just to ride 25 miles. There just isn't any way that I will be able to basically cut my time in half by September. Ok, there is a way, but it would require spending every waking moment working or biking, and I'm just not willing to do that. I have a family I want to spend time with, and want to enjoy life. I have an incredible amount of admiration for all of you who are gearing up for, or gearing down from, long bike races (Century Gary), running races (Melisa), and Ironman Triathlons (Dave and Emilie). Ultimately, after riding with David on Friday, I had to really think through what I am doing this for. I am doing it for my health and happiness. I was absolutely miserable on that ride. I really love riding 15-20 miles on bike trails. More than that, I just do not enjoy myself anymore. I realized that if I continued to push to ride 40-60 miles in the next 2 months, that I would not enjoy it. That would lead me to quit as soon as the race is over, which is pretty much the opposite of my purpose. I wanted to participate in these races as a way to keep myself in shape and active, not as a way to burn myself out. So, after talking things over with David, I decided, at this time, a 1.2 mile swim and 56 mile bike just isn't going to work for me.

This decision happened the same day I got a massive sunburn. I put sunscreen on, but didn't see the spot between the bottom of my shirt and top of my waistband. See, when I'm standing up the shirt and bike shorts connected...Well, leaning over on bicycle handbars for 3 hours I exposed the small of my back. It's painful, full of blisters and bright red. This is 4 days later... I can't wear anything with a waistband right now, or even think of putting on a bathing suit. So, I guess it's a recovery week for me...I'm hoping that it will feel better tomorrow so that I can start to train again, but figure it's got to be better by Thursday, right?

The weight loss problem is on-going. It came to a head last week. I watch what I ate Tuesday-Friday. No wine, no dessert, low carbs, healthy food, healthy choices. I was down to 178.6 Friday morning and the same Friday after the ride. 3 hours of riding in tough conditions, I figured I'd earned a bit of a reward, so I ate Chinese Friday night for dinner. 2 veggie egg rolls, fried rice, and Sesame Chicken. Yes, I know, terrible dinner, but I rode for 3 hours and had only protein drinks and a cliff bar the rest of the day! Weighing in on Saturday morning, I gained 2 pounds! Look, if biking for 3 hours can't earn me the right to eat Chinese one meal and maintain my weight, then something is wrong. So, I made an appointment for lab work and seeing my doctor. I just can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. It's so frustrating. I wouldn't care about giving up alcohol, desserts, and carbs most of the time, but really feel that I should be able to indulge after a long training session without losing all progress from the week.

So, now starts a new week. Once I can get back in the pool or back into bike shorts, I'm going to start focusing on enjoying my workouts. I'm going to increase swimming to a mile and a half, and focus biking on 15-20 mile bike trail rides. Each activity 3 times a week, and hopefully alot of the bike rides with David. I am planning on focusing eating protein and produce only for the next week and a half, staying away from alcohol and desserts in Vegas, and maintaining protein, produce, and healthy carbs eating for the rest of the summer. Maybe my doctor will find a reason that things aren't working the way I think they should, or maybe it's just alot harder now than it was 5 years ago.

Any Encouragement Appreciated

I read other blogs that are much more enlightened than my own, much more gracious, focusing on others and expressing love and appreciation. They are truly selfless people. My blog is selfish and focused on me. I apologize for that, especially the following post...

2 months ago, I started training for the Sprint Triathlon. The real purpose of the training and the race was to have a goal, a reason to exercise, and a reason to stick with it. I figured that in changing my habits from rarely working out to working out 6 days a week, I would just naturally lose weight. I made the committment to swim and/or bike for at least half an hour those 6 days a week. Now, I'm up to a mile of swimming, which takes 45 minutes, on swimming days and am supposed to be biking at least 25 miles on biking days.

Now, to be completely honest, the last two weeks I've cheated some on the biking. I only biked 2 days, swimming 4 days, the week before last and last week I biked 3 days, but did those workouts on the trainer due to time and weather constraints. I can only last about and hour and a half on the trainer on any given day, which I know translates to 20 miles or less rather than the 25-30 miles I was supposed to ride last week. The weather has been rather rainy on days that I have time to ride outside, but that's really an excuse. Mostly, I'm just frustrated. Since I enjoy biking less than swimming, biking suffers when I'm frustrated.

I did this to lose weight. I didn't have those wonderful personal goals, like wanting to do a race to push myself to my limits, or wanting to participate in an Ironman. My goal was to lose weight, be skinny again, and be happy when I look in the mirror. Really, part of it is that I want people to look at David and think how lucky he is to have a pretty wife. I know, it's petty and superficial, but if I can't be honest in a blog...

Therein lies my problem. I've increased my activity incredibly in the past 2 months, but I'm not losing weight. Since beginning training, I've only lost 5 permanent pounds. I was once down to 179.6 for a day, but have kind of stuck at 181. Part of the problem is that I tell myself, well, I swam 1 mile today, so I can eat this. Another part is that I just love sweets. I know I've said this before, but if it's there, I'll eat it, and I have a hard time not buying it. I use any excuse: friends coming over for dinner, kids have been good so lets go get ice cream, birthday parties, tough weeks, and any other convenient reason I can come up with. I've become known as the person who makes desserts, so I use that as a reason to make desserts for any occasion. The last part that is a challenge to losing weight is that I'm so frakking HUNGRY after I work out. I'll get home and grab a bag of chips and a handful of M&Ms. The sad thing is, I won't even think about the bowl of apples or the bunch of bananas sitting on the counter. I go right for the bad stuff.

I really despise that the working out isn't enough. It makes me resentful that I spend at least an hour a day now swimming or biking, yet I'm not losing weight and now I have to suck up the fact that I'm going to have to watch what I eat on top of training 1-3 hours a day, 6 days a week. I'm just so upset that now I'm going to have to stop eating what I want and stop drinking what I want, too. I'm pretty sure I've been here before, and said the same stuff, so you can see how much I am trying to avoid this step.

I remember when I started this, that I wanted to be in the 140s by the time our 10 year anniversary came along. Well, 2 months from now we celebrate that anniversary and I've made very little progress towards that goal. A little less than 6 years ago, I weighed 130 pounds. I lost 65 pounds in 8 months back then. Now, I've only lost 5 pounds in 2 months and really almost all of that was in the first month. The more frustrated I get with the weight loss part, the more frustrated I get with being a size 16, the less I enjoy working out. I have this friend who only has to workout 3 times a week, maybe 4 times, for an hour and she loses weight without having to watch what she eats. Not that she needed to lose weight in the first place, and I'm so jealous.

This whole thing makes me feel so shallow. I know that what really makes a person a good person is what's inside, so why do I care about my outside so much? I justify it with statements about how being 180 pounds isn't healthy, and I want to be healthy and live a long life for my kids. But really, it's mostly about me judging myself on my appearances. I want to be that size 6 again. I miss what I looked like in high school. I miss the attention, really, for my looks. Which is completely against every bone in my body, and completely against everything I want to teach my own kids. It's a good thing they're not reading this...

Going it alone

I cherish swimming alone. Not quite alone, I guess, I like it when there's one person per lane. So much so that I try to find times in the pool when there aren't alot of other people. It's not so much about the crowd, really, it's about the rhythm. There's just something about the sound of the water splashing by just one or two other people. There's something cool about being able to watch (since I swim the breaststroke I can watch others) other swimmers. Some are almost silent, which I love. Watching them is almost mesmerizing and serene. Some others splash alot and seem to work so hard at swimming. Some of the splashers are consistent and give me great white noise. Others are just noisy with no real rhythm, but they make me feel good about myself :-) I really love it when there is a "mature" lady in the lane next to me who is doing solo water aerobics. They always just look so happy and peaceful.

I like swimming in the afternoons the best. The mornings tend to have mostly very serious, very skilled swimmers. I feel like the ugly duckling in the mornings. In the afternoons, it seems like the other swimmers are more on my level. They're there for a good workout and to improve, and I somehow feel less intimidated.

I just love the "zoning out" part of swimming. It's the combination of white noise, repetition, cool water, and the amazing way I feel tired and invigorated all at the same time.

I feel very differently about biking. I don't know why. I enjoy the after-effects of biking. I love that I can say I rode 20 miles. I love that I feel nice and tired. I definitely feel like I've worked out hard on the biking days. Biking, though, makes me lonely. While I love swimming alone, I don't always enjoy biking alone. When I'm biking with someone else, on the very rare occasion, I push myself harder. When I'm by myself, I'm slower, and just want to get it done. Biking is the time that I really wish I was training with others. Maybe it's because the biking days are long workout days or maybe it's because I don't enjoy biking as much as swimming, but I just wish that I had someone to bike with. David can't exactly bike with me, since the kids are too big to ride in trailer and too small to keep up with us. I'd rather save the sitter opportunities for actual date nights.

30 more minutes of working alone, and I can go enjoy the white noise of swimming alone.

A renewed commitment

Last week was pretty tough, motivation-wise. I just wasn't motivated much for anything. The house was a  and I had no motivation to clean it. The yard needed some serious help; vegetables needed to be planted, fencing needed to go up, lawn needed to be mowed, dog spots needed new grass seed, bird droppings needed to be cleaned off the deck. I needed to train 6 days of the week and just had no desire. I was pretty much burned out on everything.

I went to a clinic at Tribella on Wednesday night. Tribella is a women's only triathlon shop in downtown Denver. A friend invited me to go with her to hear a world-class (ranked #4 in the world) triathlete speak. Honestly, most of it was way over my head, although it was cool hearing about the elite athletes of the sport. One thing she said really resonated with me, though. She said, "You're not doing the race for the training, your training for the race." She was talking about not over-training and not overdoing it the week of the race. I really started thinking about what she was saying. I've been thinking about it for the past 4 days, actually. I discovered that, for me, I really am doing the race for the training. The race is my motivation to keep on training. I'm doing this to get healthy, lose weight, and to not cringe any time I look in the mirror or put on a pair of pants.

I think part of my problem last week was that I was so focused on the race that I forgot why I am doing it in the first place. I'm not racing to compete, I'm racing to train and I'm training to force the habit of exercise. I got so caught up in thinking about whether or not I will finish the race in September and got so down about it as right now I am about 4 mph short of what I need to be at on the bike that it killed my motivation. Combine that with trying to figure out the freestyle stroke instead of just sticking with what I know and enjoy, breaststroke, it made for a bad week.

Oh yeah, and I got a flat tire after missing the bike trail I was supposed to take on my long ride on Friday. I was going to ride from work to Cherry Creek to home. Coming back, I missed the Cherry Creek trail and ended up on Highline Canal Trail instead. No big deal, I was just going to ride to Emma's babysitter's house and meet David there instead of at home. Well, I hit a bump and got an instant flat tire. I had no idea where I was, really, until I finally crossed Mississippi and Parker Road. So, after riding 20 miles, I walked another 3 miles (shin splints burning pain) with the bike to Alameda and Dayton where my wonderful sister-in-law picked me up (Thanks Natalie). I really need to learn how to change a flat! By the time this rolled around, I was already lacking motivation.

So, yesterday I sat down with my training plan and mapped out what I am supposed to do each week. I realized that I've been swimming too much, so I cut that back to the amount of swimming on the training plan. I've also decided that, against most advice, I am going to just stick with breaststroke. If, in the July race, it just doesn't work out, I'll try to switch to freestyle by September. I just want to enjoy the workouts and not dread them. I also decided, after driving the race route and seeing how small to non-existent the bike lane is, that I will try to ride it once before the July race, but focus more on riding on trails where I enjoy riding. I'll get enough hill practice in just riding from work to home that I should gain strength and speed. Mostly, I decided that I need to arrange my training so that I will enjoy it; swimming when the pool is not crowded, doing the double workout day on Friday when I have time to myself and don't have to feel guilty, and finding nice bike trails to ride in the afternoons. I need to stop worrying about whether or not I can do the half-ironman race as: a) it is 4 months away and b) it really doesn't matter if I officially finish, it's the training and trying that matter most.

So this week, I have made a renewed commitment to training the right way. Training how and when I want to, not doing too much, and focusing on the original goal of looking good and feeling good.

Now, I'm nervous...

So, as I begin week 7 of training, a few thoughts continue to swim around this brain of mine...

First, it's only been 7 weeks?! I feel like I've been doing this forever. Granted, since being a mom my memory has been pretty shoddy. I can't remember movies. It's so bad that I'm frequently asking David, "Have we seen that movie?" only to get an eye-roll and laugh. However, I swear I've been doing this training way longer than 7 weeks. At the same time, it does make me feel a bit better about only losing 4 pounds since it's only been 7 weeks.

I would like to lose weight at a quicker rate, and am hoping to start that journey this week. However, today Gibson hit Emma hard enough to leave a big red mark and Emma told Gibson that no one loves him all in the span of me cooking dinner in time for David to leave for his hockey game. So, I took a bath and had a drink and chocolate. Oops. The rest of the week needs to shape up!

The other main stream of thoughts going through my head seems to be around nerves about signing up for the Half-Ironman Aquabike and thinking that I jumped the gun.

I've been counseled to work towards being able to do the freestyle swim stroke. I'm very nervous about this. Any time I try it, I get exhausted quickly, get water up my nose and dripping down my throat no matter how forcefully I breathe out or how much I breathe out using my nose,get out of breath quickly, and I feel like I'm going to drown. I can do the breaststroke for a mile and a half in an hour and 15 minutes. I enjoy it and can finish in under the race time cutoff. However, I've been told a range of things including: 1) I need to be able to swim freestyle before I can do a Half-Ironman, 2) I can't do breaststroke in a wetsuit, and 3) I'll end up kicking people if I do breaststroke, which will make me feel just terrible. So, I've been kind of freaking out about the swimming. I've signed up for a non-refundable race for which I was originally just worried about being able to finish the bike portion in the 4 hour time limit. Now I'm worrying, "What if I never get better at freestyle?" and "What if I never enjoy freestyle like I enjoy breaststroke?" I know I can finish the swim leg in time, but will I be the one idiot out there doing breaststroke and annoying all the other athletes.

Add to that my original nerves about the bike leg. I know I can finish the bike leg out of sheer will, but I am really unsure that I can complete it before the cutoff time. On my old bike, I made it the 15 miles to my parents' house in an hour and a half. That's 10 miles an hour. I figured that getting a new bike would make a big difference. However, I biked from Hinkley to home, 8 miles, on Friday in 50 minutes. Still 10 miles an hour. Granted, it's pretty much all uphill from Hinkley to home and I wasn't really pushing it, but I thought my time would improve some as a result of the new bike and couple weeks of additional training under my belt. I need to be riding at a speed of 14 miles an hour to finish the 56 miles in 4 hours.

So now, I'm nervous about both parts of the race. The problem with that is that I don't know which part to focus more training on. All of the training plans I've pulled from the internet are for triathlons. They have running as part of the training. So, do I turn the running workouts into biking workouts because my time is so bad on those, or on swimming workouts to try and become a freestyle swimmer?

The last thing cycling through my head is how do I allow myself time to train and get good enough to race without becoming a bad wife and mother? This morning, I had to cut my swim workout short because I had to get home to the kids and let David go to work. Then, I got off the bike trainer three times during a short 45 minute ride to get the kids breakfast, let the dogs out, and let the dogs back in. I'm frequently yelling at the kids not to touch the bike, as it's sitting in the middle of our family room/dining room area. Tomorrow, I have a meeting at 9am and another one after work until 6pm. I have to ride 45 minutes and "run" 30 minutes. So, do I swim 30 minutes in the morning (hardly seems worth getting up at 5 am, going to the gym to share a lane with at least 1 other person), swim 30 minutes after my 6pm meeting, or bike for an hour and 15 minutes?

Anyone out there wanna help me calm my nerves?

WooHoo!

Despite training being totally off of my normal schedule this week, it's been a good week.

Due to sick kids, early morning meetings, and ACT testing I've trained in the afternoon every day this week. I missed swimming one day, but still did the bike workout. Overall, not a great training week, but still pretty good considering all the other things going on this week.

I bought a new bike! It's an entry-level Women's Specific Design road bike, and I love it! I already feel how much easier and faster riding is with the 20 pound difference between it and my new bike. Let alone the difference in shifting, aerodynamics and wheel size!

It's attached to the bike trainer as after 60 of my 90 minute bike ride yesterday it got really cold and windy.

Unfortunately, I only averaged about 10 miles per hour on the ride yesterday. However, it was mostly uphill, no downhills, and some flat riding. I need to increase my speed by about 4 miles an hour to complete the Harvest Moon race in September. I have 4 months to get there...Kind of scary. I'm hoping that the downhill parts of the race will help with my speed.

I signed up and paid for the Harvest Moon race in September! It's a Half-Ironman Aquabike. It's a 1.2 mile swim and 56 mile bike. It's here in Aurora, so the cost of the race was much less than the cost of the Cedar Point race. I am hoping, however, to do the Cedar Point race in 2012. I just love the idea of racing at Cedar Point and near family and friends :-) Meanwhile, if anyone wants to make the trip to Colorado to cheer me on for the Harvest Moon, you have a place to stay with us :-)

I am finally out of the 180s! I weighed in today and the scale said 179.8! It was so exciting to see, especially because I had what felt like a pound of chips and guacamole and ice cream last night (and wine the night before)! I'm now approaching the lowest I've been since I was about 2 months pregnant with Emma :-) About 4 more pounds to go to reach that milestone. My total weight loss is only 8 pounds so far, but hey, it's a start.

Overall, it's about the best "bad workout, time, and eating" week I could ever have :-) I wish everyone, and myself, a great weekend and great week next week!

Ohio Triathlon Update

Just a quick update. After long consideration, I'm not going to be doing the Cedar Point Half-Ironman triathlon this year. It would cost somewhere between $800 and $1000 to get me and my bike to Ohio and to register for the race. I'm hoping that we'll be able to save enough so that I can do the race in 2012. In the meantime, I'm going to keep training for a Half-Ironman so that I'll be in great shape come the 2012 Triathlon season.
There is a Half-Ironman here in Colorado in September. It's a hilly course and the cut-off times are pretty short, but if training goes well maybe...

Decisions, decisions

So, this week is setting up to be a tough one. I've started the training schedule for the Half-Ironman Aquabike. I'm exactly 20 weeks away from the race date. This week, almost every day I'm supposed to swim and bike. The biking is much easier to find time for since I bought the bike trainer. This week, however, finding time for swimming is going to be difficult.

Sunday night, due to the kids along with waiting to bike 90 minutes until 8pm, I was up until after midnight, got woken up at 2am, and decided there was no way I was going to swim a mile at 5am. Unfortunately, it meant that I skipped the swimming portion of my training on Monday. I worked until 7pm, and David had to leave at 7:45 for his hockey game. He didn't get back from hockey until after 11pm, which meant I didn't fall asleep until midnight yet again. 5am did not happen Tuesday morning either. I did bike for an hour this morning, and will swim on my way home from work tonight.

The next two days are even more of a challenge. I'm supposed to go to the gym at 5:15am Wednesday, but I also have to be at work at 7:45 tomorrow. I'm not sure how I'm going to go to the gym, swim for over an hour, get home and shower, dress, get the kids ready, get the kids to school and daycare, and get to work by 7:45am. However, if I don't do that, then I have to swim on my way home again, and still have time to get the kids, cook dinner, get the kids to bed, and relax...Thursday is even worse. I have a conference downtown (hour drive, at least, that time of day) that starts at 8:30am and goes until 6pm. At least these two days happen to be only one activity days.

The problem with busy days, too, is that many times I lose control of the eating, too. I don't have time to think about, prep, and cook a healthy meal. Here's hoping I can find some crockpot meals tonight to cook for the next couple of nights :-)

I'm also really debating the whole bike thing this week. I really want to do this race in Ohio in September, but everything I've read and heard and been counseled towards from friends who've done triathlons says that the bike really does matter. Currently, I have a heavy hybrid bike. I can shave off 3-5 miles her hour more if I get a road/triathlon bike. It could very easily make the difference between being able to finish in the time allowed and being disqualified. However, it's $600 from my family's finances that are pretty tight as it is...

If you asked David, he would tell you that I get obsessed with things. I'm pretty sure I'm now a bit obsessed with this training. It's almost as all-consuming as my kids :-)

A Better End to the Week and a Crazy Idea

So, even though I am tired after getting up at 5am 4 days a week for training, I still look back on the week as a good one. First, I lost a pound and a half this week. Not quite the goal of being in the 170s, but I'm 180.2 now, so it's in sight! When I tweak the eating part just a bit, I lose weight. So, at least it's not complete denial all the time. I just can't eat sweets, not even a cookie, and have to watch my portions at dinner especially.

I'm now up to swimming at least a mile 4 days a week. I can swim a mile in 50 minutes now, doing breast stroke the whole time. That's swimming a pace that I know I can keep up for at least twice the time. I wanted to test myself to see if I could swim 1.2 miles in under 1 hour, 10 minutes. That's the time cut-off for most Half-Ironman races (more on that in a minute). I'm riding twice a week, once for 15 miles and once for 30 minutes plus swimming. It's supposed to be plus running, but you all know where I am on that now. I rode 15 miles in 1 and a half hours last weekend. It wasn't a particularly easy 15 miles, either. Lots of hills and some wind. I need to get the bike ride to be quicker.

So, here's the crazy idea. There's a Half-Ironman Aquabike race in Ohio in September. The race I'm participating in in July is a Triathlon Sprint. I'm doing a half-mile swim, 14 mile bike, and half-mile swim for that race. A Half-Ironman Aquabike is a 1.2 mile swim and a 56 mile bike ride. The bike ride is pretty flat, with only 1 real hill in the 56 miles.

Here's the bike course map for the race in July:

http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/discussion/training/map.asp?routeid=154412

Here's the bike course map for the race in September:


http://www.rev3tri.com/pdfs/cedarPointHalfBike.pdf

So, the colleague at my work who's done lots of triathlons including a full Ironman, told me I was crazy to consider going from my first triathlon of a Sprint to a Half-Ironman length two months later. But this is the thing. The race in September is much lower elevation, and is one of the only Aquabike races after July 30th. I would really like to have 1 more race to train for this year to keep myself going with the training. There are a couple more races that are the same length as the one I'm doing in July or Olympic length (1 mile swim, 24 mile bike) but there either pretty challenging courses with strict time constraints or there not as cool of a location as Cedar Point. Cedar Point is awesome because a lot of my family lives really close by (free place to stay...), and it's the best amusement park in the country :-) It would just be so awesome to have a lot of my family there cheering me on! It also has pretty nice time cut-offs. 1 hour and 10 minutes for the swim and 5 and a half hours to complete the two sections. Most of the races I've looked at don't have as nice cut-off times and are much hilly-er. I downloaded a 20 week training schedule for a Half-Ironman, just to take a look. I just would love to do this race!

There is an Olympic Distance Aquabike race in Naylor's Beach, Warsaw, VA, that has potential, but I want to do races where I will have supporters and/or in cool places to visit...

So, today was really windy and I was just not in the mood to ride in the wind. I had to go shopping for Mom's birthday anyway, so I found a good deal on a bike trainer (one of those things you hook your bike to to basically make it a stationary bike). It's supposed to be much better for training than a gym stationary bike. I'm going to ride it during our Family Movie Night tonight. Depending on the weather, I'll either ride out to Mom and Dad's on Sunday or will ride the trainer again. It's supposed to be cold and rainy this weekend.

It seems that every weekend is presenting weather challenges. During the week, it's nice, calm, and warm and the weekends get windy, cold, and wet!


I hope you all have a great weekend!