I was so good before the winter holidays. It was a habit, the way I ate, and I didn't miss the food I wasn't eating. I was really starting to feel good.
Now, I realize how much work it was to get there and how easy it is to fall off the path. For 3 weeks I was terrible. I started off break doing all right. Christmas Eve on I blew it. I gained 8 pounds from December 23rd until January 8th. I ate and drank pretty much whatever I wanted, and am really regretting it now. I've been battling all week this week to get back on track. It's made me cranky and irritable. I don't want to eat healthy. I want to drink a glass of wine, I want to eat sweets.
I think the lesson I learned here is that I have a really difficult time just splurging once. It becomes a habit too quickly with me. I'll say, "I can eat just one cookie" and I'll end up eating 10, at least. I'll say, I can have 1 glass of wine, and I end up having 4. One day of splurging turns into 2 days, 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks. Then, trying to get back into eating healthy is so hard that I keep saying, "I'll start back tomorrow, since hey, I already ate a cookie today and I might as well eat 10."
Now, being back in the 170s, which I swore I wouldn't let happen, it's so hard to get motivated again. Knowing how easily it falls apart, I keep thinking, "What's the point if I will just fall apart again?" "Why would I work so hard to lose it, for at least another half a year to get to the 130s, if I so easily gain it back." "Really, I'm not going to EVER be able to eat and drink what I want without gaining 8 pounds in 3 weeks?"
I have to start training in February. I was going to start steadily going to the gym now, but I know that I can't get both on track at the same time. So, I have to spend the next 2 weeks getting the good eating habits back before I can focus on working out. I know it takes both sides, but I also know that if the good eating isn't a habit it will go out the window as soon as I add the additional time crunch of working out and the additional calories needed to work out. If I were to start at the gym now, I would justify that pack of M&Ms (that I just ate, due to a migraine), every day with, "Well, I burned this off at the gym."
I'm also avoiding because I just joined the cheaper gym, which is good for my pocketbook, but none of my friends belong there. I'm not very big on working out with others, but there was a certain motivation knowing that I would see people I know when I left the pool (or not see them if I failed to show up). I also used to do Body Pump once a week with a work friend, and never bailed on her...Now, it's much more on my own.
The last avoiding thought for working out is that I know how much time I will spend once I'm training, starting in February, that I'm trying to put it off as long as possible.
I'm really struggling this week, can you tell? :-)
